I never write any personal stories up here esp with names of people from my life. But today am gonna write about her. Anji…. my college friend…don’t make a face if you haven’t ever heard about her despite of being my best friend ( if you are) 😛 because she is a closed chapter of my life.
We were the 3 idiots/ 3 muskeeters/the wonder threesome of our class. Rashmi, Anjana and me. and then people used to come along, but we three remained friends all 4 years of our college. And we were different. We weren’t too reserved, nor too outgoing, we were just us. We loved to go to Lajpat Nagar and Sarojni Nagar. We loved to watch movies at Anjiz place. And we loved to go to Vishal Mart( it had a good food court) and Mc Ds and Haldirams. Unlike other college going girls of our age. We never did a dieting. We never cared much about how we look. Never applied liners and mascaras and dressed in what we felt was comfortable and good looking. We never bothered about what guys think of us. That is how we were…that’s why I said we were…”Us”…simply us…and that’s all can’t describe it with any other synonym. Rashmi was an academic genius from Bihar. Anjana was always the first one to do her assignments and the whole class copied and me….I had no idea where my life is goin and what the hell am born for and why am I doing engineering. Meri engineering k sath arranged marriage ho gayi thi and I was making no efforts to make it work. I was only copying notes from Anjana, cramming important topics with Rashmi’s help before exams and roaming around here and there and everywhere. Rajat he was my pal, my buddy, my best friend and my sweet bro jisko pyar se bol k koi bhi kaam karva sakti thi and kahi bhi bike pe ghoomne ja sakti thi :P. I know I was a typical IT stuff already :D. Huh! I miss those days. But then life moves on and college was almost getting over. I now had a bigger gang of my best pals. Me, Anji, Rashmi, Rajat, Nitin, Farhan, Saurav, and Himanshu. With the later three the bonding became stronger mostly after college days. Aah yes in the meanwhile I found a stupid puppy love. A guy from nowhere, who looked no special, had no wonder qualities and we (now I think) never clicked but we became great phone friends, chatting friends and best friends and then girlfriend-boyfriend ( Thankgod it didn’t workout and not very long later we broke-up..good for us!). Rashmi started dating her now hubby Kushagra..my sweet jij. I was happy for her.But do happy times last forever?
Hmm I think a storm came over our good times and the signs began during placements. The first company was TCS…Rashmi cleared…Anji and I couldn’t rest no one mattered much to me. Few days later Adobe came, neither me nor Anji could clear. But I used to hear often that am smart and I can get through any interview. I soon realized it was all crap. A day before CSC came, Anji had burst into tears. Rashmi ka ho gaya placement, Shuchi ka ho jayega mera kya hoga. I felt bad..but its OK my friend was upset and nothing else matters so we cheered her up. Gave her motivation and I was happy she cleared it, I couldn’t and its OK. Slowly each and every company came and went off I couldn’t clear any of it. Some weird people in class always saw me as a looser. Varun, Lav…hell with them!! Who cares!!! Anyways then came the time for belling the CAT. Anju and Rashmi were trying hard and I was roaming here n there again :D. Anji couldn get thru. I got 83 percentile never bothered to apply in any private instis cz wasn’t so intrested in MBA and our Rashmi..wow she got thru :D. Yea I was elated. But Anji…no she wasn’t she was feeling left out. But why left out, even I didn clear it now I realized she too saw me as a looser. Ohkay….and its OK I thought. No worries. Time flew by I joined Nuclues as a developer and Anji joined CSC , Rashmi went to Kolkatta. Lives got busy and I met Anji once she said she got a job much like a BPO and is not happy with that, when I said I am a developer she didn’t look very comfortable. I didn’t care much. We kept meeting as friends and soon later she announced she is looking for a match for arranged marrige.
Arranged marriage are you serious??? At that time it sounded like someone said she wants to go to jail. But the reason she gave had shook me. “You have a bf, Rashmi has a bf..I dnt have one..and I dnt wana be left unmarried”…WTF i thought. I stopped considering her my friend since then but never mentioned it to her. Her wedding date came near. I kept thinking she may ask me to come with her for wedding shopping, but she never did. I thought she will come over to my place and invite my parents too, since we used to go to her place so often it was like an obvious expectation. She didn’t and I felt bad, too bad above that she said ” I know you guys won’t come to my wedding but I had to invite”. Won’t come…why was she getting married on Mars??? I didn’t say anything because its someone’s wedding why bother her and myself too. I thought I expect too much from friends. and yes maybe I did. Time again flew by and differences between me and Anji grew. I wasn’t someone who would stay quite for long and we had a bad row over things. She said am being unreasonable and inconsiderate. I said she is not being a good friend and blah blah blah. The chapter got closed and we never ever opened it again.
Now that I look back I feel glad. Because the sound of my wisdom says we are what we choose to do and I choose not to compete with my friends or anyone. My competition is with my own present and not anyone else. Who she is and what she has is not my priority. What I am and what I want to be is what am concerned about because that is what will decide my path, my story. Today Anji and Rashmi are married am Single and had a few breakups. But am happy. am happy to have the experiences I had. Happy to be enjoying what am enjoying. And very happy that I have Rashmi and Kushagra and Saurav and Rajat and my other friends I made after college. I love them all. Each one of them have a special place in my heart and it doesn’t matter what job they do or how much they earn or in which country they live or which car they drive. I love my work I do, my boss sucks, I will buy a car someday, my last ex.. I still miss him, I love my smile in the mirror, I have a small little android phone, my last hair cut went awesome and I have seen atleast 40 cities in India and explored them. I know a bit of spanish and bangla and gujju.. in short my life is not perfect. But I love it, it is just the way it should be… na zaada.. na kam. and I do not want to belittle it by comparing it with anyone. I wana make it better. but not better than him or her. My each day has to be better than yesterday, should have more happiness..more love…more smiles…and yes ofcourse more money 🙂 I miss that Anji who was my friend. But I hate that Anji who made herself our competitor.
P.S. I still love me…and will always do!!! 🙂